July 31, 2010

This thing called 'Love'

is very subjective.

I realized that there were a handful of people who read my previous post on relationship. Some agreed, some disagreed.

Please allow me to make it clear that I DO NOT claim that my thinking is right, nor is yours wrong. We all have different perspectives and I think of relationship and wrote mine based on my very own experiences. If you do not agree with me, just say you disagree, please do not claim that I am wrong. I've been through a 5 year relationship which made me who I am today, portraying the way I think, the way I behave towards a guy, etc. Seriously, if you are not me, please do not claim that I am immature and selfish. What do you know about me?

Also, if you need any clarifications, please ask me directly and stop making assumptions. I did NOT break up with my boyfriend. I was merely posting about my thoughts on my friend's situation because she recently got married. How on earth can people assume that I broke up with Elton based on the post I wrote!? How twisted can your mind get?

Yes I do have issues with placing my trust in guys. Elton knows that and he has worked his ass off to make sure my faith in him won't be shaken. I truly admire him and appreciate him for the effort. It's all about the heart. We still have a lot to discover about each other. We have been together for like what, 5 months now? I am NOT saying that I will marry him. I'm not saying anything at all. I can hardly look after myself and secure my own future. Wouldn't it be so selfish to put that burden on him too? What more he is 2 years younger than me. Life has just begun for him and the uncertain future holds so much for us. Who knows if I die the next second? I have never lied nor hid anything from Elton. I would even copy paste and screen shot all my conversations and messages exchanged with the other guys he doesn't trust. Who are you to say that I don't love and treat him right? You even made a complain before he made any.

Come on, I will definitely put my heart in something I love and be totally sincere and honest about it. But if I already know that something CANNOT happen, I am practical enough to withdraw myself from the situation to avoid getting hurt. This is called being matured enough to look after myself, before looking after others. I know what the bible talks about love, that it does not boast nor is it selfish. Who are you to say that I am not fit to use the word 'love'? In fact, I honestly think the word 'love' has been underrated. I would never use 'love' to describe my favourite food / colour / things. I will only use it when I mean it. When I do use it, you would know I am willing to circle the world and even give up my life for it. So think twice before you claim you LOVE something.


Elton Yan said...

i support Eileen not just cause she's my gf...but as an individual..all her points does make sense and its her blog anyway...she can write anything she wants..so please, anyone wanna try telling me about my own gf isn't serious bout me or what..trying so hard to make me feel insecure...i say you're not being a friend...you just want something to gossip about..
life is so short...look at your own and just be happy...i appreciate friends being concern..there are concern ones n i thankyou..but just so you know, eileen is just talking bout a general statement on her beliefs so dun worry =)
but not those who are purposely trying to make up something about this sweet girl that is totally not true!!!
don't mess with her, or u'll answer to me..well for now, i couldn't care less what you ppl say tht is totally outta the blue bout her. Get to know someone before judging will ya?

Elton Yan said...

and if i may add, i may not be the perfect or best boyfriend..i know i can do millions of mistakes..but to me, we shudn't think of eileen being selfish...everyone needs closure..everyone goes for being logical n realistic..even so i knw there are couples out there do make it in relationships that are far apart for many years...we cannot say that eileen's statement on needing her partner to be ther for her is wrong. this is simply cause everyone has their own persuit of happiness...does not make her less stronger if she wants the person to be by her side always..everyone has different ways of securing themselves..everyone has their ways of a lifestyle they choose...it really comes down to how you want your life to be..ppl in long distance can be loving but thts their choice of the way they choose it. Some ppl dun see themselves living a loving life thru text msgs and internet...its not being selfish, God wants us all to be happy in our own ways...why change that? love is about fate as well...and the perfect timing..what happens happened...its all about accepting and see where love goes but with a touch of realistic n logic....i may not be permanent for eileen..i know i might be a phase..but heck, i enjoy every chance of being with her... and so you guys trying to puzzle up any love statement...we cant based our love on the untold future but its the journey towards that future where the love really is...its NOW

Elton Yan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Meibelle said...

Chill man, I've said, it's just a thought. I'm not judging nor wanna make a whole lot problem here just to argue for just giving my "a thought".

If I'm the one who make you into all of this "mind grinding", then I wanna apologize. I didn't mean to make judgement here If that is what you feel. Plus, your Boyfriend here to back you up, is kinda sweet for him to do that. Meaning he really does love you a lot. The thing that makes me confuse is that, the statement that you state is just different from what you trying to do. So, i guess it's my bad.

(a thought)
You may not break up with your boyfriend but you have a mind that is not secure to make your relationship secure. You mention that your boyfriend work his ass off on your relationship, but did you??
"I didn't claim that you are immature and selfish, your thinking is." Plus, you even mind that he is younger than you, so, would you claim that he is not as mature as you? or you think that you should not let a person who is younger than you or so called "immature" to have the right to control you? Have you ever thought of you making a statement about that would make him how he feels?

"You will definitely put your heart in something you love and be totally sincere and honest about it" This statement is really good. But if words without actions, that pretty bad.

I agree that everybody have their own way of thinking and their own way of settling their own personally affairs. So, I believe that you have a point that really strongly make me believe that i have to shut up for this moment.

You may delete my post if you find it is offensive on your blog. It's your blog anyway. I'm just speaking of my thoughts. Sorry for the discomfort.

Eileen said...

No no, i totally accept what you have to say, but whether i agree with it is a totally different thing. Many thanks for voicing out your perspective and my post is not specifically against you but some other people who call themselves 'friends' that i know who have been reading my blog and waiting to watch drama happen in my relationship. And many thanks for helping me see relationship in a completely different point of view. This is a free country and i welcome all sorts of opinions & criticism, but like i said, whether i agree with it is a totally different thing.

Regarding the 'he is younger than me', my intention was not to say that he is in anyhow immature. If i do think so, why on earth would i be dating him? I can't be bothered to date anyone who doesn't share the same mindset as i do 'cos that would be pointless and we'll prolly be fighting all the time. I was merely refering to the fact that life has just begun for him, he is starting his degree in University soon, who knows what lies ahead of us. Just wanna clarify that.

Thanks again. Cheers and blessings =)

Meibelle said...


Thank you too..:)

^^ ^^ ^^ said...

I have to agree, that no one should be judged nor judge. I am for one, of debatable pass relationships, need not know any better about this.

However, what I do not get, is why you say Love is Underrated. Do you mean Overrated?

Do you mean that if I say, I love my iPhone, I don't mean it? Can we only love persons and not things, not abstract items such as art, and you claim you know love, by implying that others don't.

However, to each to one's own.

Quoting the Bible is fine and all, but in all due respect, you are doing it wrong. Don't quote for your social ramblings, don't disrespect something sacred.

Anyhow, you and Elton make a good couple though i know neither..

Matthew said...

i love chocolate cake... :)

Anonymous said...

"Regarding the 'he is younger than me', my intention was not to say that he is in anyhow immature. If i do think so, why on earth would i be dating him?"

If it's so, who on earth would even bring up the AGE issues~~?
I don't understand why you can say one thing, and means the other, and then say you don't mean it.

Eileen said...

LOL my blog is really getting a lot of LOVE!

Well thanks for voicing out whatever you guys think, I accept and appreciate all them advices & thoughts! Then again, this is just my way of thinking, not to say i am right nor wrong, this is ME... from the past who has made me who I am today.

I shall comment nor argue no further because everyone has been through different experiences and have different things to say.

But to clear the air a bit:

For Anonymous and the age issue. I think you need to read the whole paragraph of the post & comment again before ranting out like that because you're obviously not hearing me.

As for the usage of the word 'love'. I made it obvious that 'I THINK it has been underrated' I did not claim that i KNOW it is underrated. I used 'underrated' instead of overrated because I think it has been used to freely & cheaply (obviously no one needs to pay to use that word). That's just my thought. I like chocolate cake very much too mind you. But not to the extend where I can 'love' it as much as i LOVE my boyfriend, nor will i kill my first born for it. Then again, anyone can go ahead and use it, i don't really bother.

Cheers and blessings! :)

Anonymous said...

lol. this is funny. whatever it is. you should always love yourself first before loving others. the relationship with yourself is the one that you should treasure most. it is your life after all. so all u people out there, let her live her own life and go get yourselves your own one. <3