I just had the most terrifying nightmare of my life.
It's far worse than dying. I was dying together with the other half of my family who aren't believers. We were walking together on a path that eventually lead to a trap, but obviously I was the only one who could see it. Yet, I risked my life and got myself trapped because I thought I could get out of it in time.
Of course all that didn't happen literally in my dream. But it felt something like that.
That's what happens when you are far away from God. You don't know what you're getting yourself into.
I don't know what have I gotten myself into. God just seems so far away.