Ei Leen

I found a new home!

2010-11-29T20:45:00.001+08:00

eileendeng.posterous.com

Like the ocean needs the tide

2010-11-11T14:51:00.010+08:00

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone

now look what you've done

Sorry i'm a Girl

2010-11-06T11:51:00.004+08:00

A good friend of Elton's brought this all the way back from US

am love love lovin'em shimmy lip glosses! *beams* ty Jianyang!

Forgive me, I am still a typical girly girl with a thing for glitters T_T

Indian Mee and Courseworks

2010-11-04T20:57:00.004+08:00

I must admit that other than running, spending time in the kitchen is something else that I really enjoy. Cooking and experimenting new recipes do help ease my mind a little.

With the ongoing and never ending meetings, courseworks, laboratory sessions, final year project, etc, I decided to reward myself by cooking my favourite Indian Mee.

The recipe is very simple, all I needed was some noodles, tofu, egg, green leafy vegetables, garlic and onions. As for the sauce I used chilli paste, soya sauce and tomato ketchup. Oh and not forgetting to squeeze some lime juice at the end for a nice tangy touch.

I started coughing 2 weeks ago which was a serious issue because I hardly fall sick. So my lovely mum got nervous and bought me really horrible tasting chinese medicine which I was supposed to drink every 4 hours.

As horrible as it tasted, I finished it, only because my mum got it for me hehe...

My wonderful room mate Amelia left this on my desk the next morning, how sweet of her! It must be my annoying coughs that disturbed her sleep at night =S

So Viva La Vida night is over which officially marks the end to my stage performances for now. I'm glad I managed to share the stage with Elton who is remarkably talented and amazingly sweet for helping me and being there for me. I am also glad that I had the chance to share a song that I wrote for Eco-Film Festival 2010 with the crowd from Uni, sure hope they liked it! More importantly, I hope I successfully brought across the message inside the song to the audience.

I'm back to my work now, busy busy me...

One Sweet Day

2010-11-02T13:42:00.003+08:00

Here I am once again, trembling with butterflies in my stomach. Pre-stage fright is one thing I can't seem to get away with to be honest. I may have performed a hundred times, and each time seems to get better, but it doesn't change the fact that I still possess this persistent phobia.

Got to focus now, Eileen!

Nottingham's Viva La Vida is back again. I remember marking this event a month ago in my diary, and here it is. Tonight.

Elton and I were invited to perform a couple of songs for Viva La Vida, so we came together to talk about what songs to perform and how we want them done (yes we take our performances very seriously) We plan to sing 3 songs on that night and it was almost instant when we decided to choose one of Elton's own composition and Little Things That Count - a song I wrote for Eco-film Fest. Songs after songs, we practiced and practiced, but we still couldn't really decide on our third song, not until 2 days ago T_T

We wanted the song to be meaningful and coinciding with the theme. So here we have it - Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men's One Sweet Day. I first heard of One Sweet Day in college when I 'accidentally' played it on my friend's MP4 player while we were studying. The song gave me a very depressing yet hopeful feeling. After listening to it a couple of times more, it soon became one of my favourites.

I personally have the habit of looking up on the background of every song I sing on stage to understand the content of the song and what the writer was trying to express when writing it. This practice really helps me on stage when I try to deliver the message in the song across to the audience because I know what tone, emotion and expression is appropriate for every word.

One Sweet Day was written by Mariah Carey and the members of Boyz II Men in remembrance of their loved ones who have passed away. This song also speaks about missing the people you've lost and looking forward to reuniting with them one day in Heaven. So I will be thinking about my grandpa when I sing this tonight. My grandpa is one of the reasons why i'm here today and in everything I did, he never failed to push and motivate me until I succeeded. Its a shame that he left us without any warning, and we still don't know the exact reason to his death. I can never seem to erase the image of my dad weeping over the phone when he told me the news 3 years ago, causing me to cry for weeks after that. So yeh-yeh, as much as I know you dislike me singing and slammed on my radio every time I did, I hope you will hear me tonight as I really miss you.

Forgiveness is an art i'm still learning how to paint

2010-10-24T02:38:00.007+08:00

Be patient with me for forgiving takes time, but forgetting takes even more.

Bleeding Love

2010-10-23T08:12:00.002+08:00

Closed off from love, I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough, and it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened for the very first time with you
My heart melted to the ground, found something true
And everyone's looking around
Thinking I'm going crazy 

But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open 

Trying hard not to hear, but they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears, try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness, I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, baby, baby

But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open 

And it's draining all of me
Oh, they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see 

But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing
You cut me open

Screw It

2010-10-23T07:54:00.004+08:00

Even the most perfect person in your life will fail you. Unfortunately.

Why you?

2010-10-20T20:33:00.007+08:00

- you say Ok every time I say No
- you listen to my jokes seriously
- you believe in my judgments even when I make mistakes
- you tell me to spend time with my friends and family
- you put up with all my 'No's
- you talk like an older man
- you say "I understand what you mean" before I get to open my mouth
- you open the car door for me when your hands are full of my things
- you rather carry me and step into the water puddle yourself
- you listen and trust the things I say louder than what you hear from others

Lastly but most importantly,

you have always been there for me.

I love you :)

Gossiping = Unhealthy Snacking

2010-10-17T09:55:00.001+08:00

Before it hits your head, you're already doing it, again.

I realised how bad of a habit it is to talk about people behind their backs, be it the good or bad. Sometimes I question whether we were born like this or maybe because we simply have nothing else better to talk about. When we are hanging out with our friends sitting in a coffee shop, sitting by the road side mamak stall, we're doing it again. It becomes a lifestyle, a really unhealthy one.

I say gossiping is like snacking on unhealthy junk food, it is fun and addictive. You will most likely enjoy that moment when you are indulging in juicy stories about people behind their backs, but you don't realise how it slowly becomes bad for your inner being over time. Before you know it, it changes who you are and ruins the relationships and perceptions you have with people, especially your friends.

Learning to accept that we are merely human and embracing our imperfections is necessary, but it is also important that we walk the talk when we say we want to be better people. Actions and words tell of who a person really is, and I need to constantly consciously remind myself to watch what I say before the habit becomes part of me.

Gossip is like poison, it will change who you are and slowly consume you from within.

Sunnies Hunt

2010-10-12T00:46:00.003+08:00

I spent hours strolling about in Sunway Pyramid over the weekend, going in and coming out every optical shop in search of the perfect Sunnies. I actually had a model in my mind - the trendy Rayban Original Wayfarers. Going through the Wayfarer collection did confuse me a little, the ten thousand and one choices of colours to choose from was overwhelming. I decided to just stick to Matte Black in the end and narrowed down my options and continued looking at the different Wayfarer designs. Lucky for me, my understanding boyfriend was patient enough to stick with me during the decision making way until 10pm just before the shops started to close when I made the final call. Hello cool new shades! :)

Rayban Foldable Wayfarers

Back to business

2010-09-27T23:37:00.009+08:00

Studying in a UK University situated in a 24/7 summer all year-round country, I too get a longgg so-called summer break. Its been 4 months since I last stepped foot in the enormous lecture theaters and pavements marked by student footprints. Some times reminiscing the times where I would either be sneaking a snack, chit chatting with my girlfriends or napping away while the lecture is going on. I'm not that much a goody student, but mind you I attend ALL my lecturers. Yes boy that I must say I win, haha.

After gaining 3 months worth of valuable working experience, it does feel a little strange being a student again. Working at YTL has made me pick-up the unconscious habit of waking up as early as 7am every morning, so I tried to stay awake throughout my first day today. Hopefully, I can build more stamina to stay awake during lectures. And, to gain enough energy for some exercise in the evenings. I have been too lazy to even have casual walks around our campus, constantly thinking of every shortcut possible.

I'm glad I spent my last 2 weeks productively, given it may be my only short break until summer next year. I had a great time with Jac who is currently also my housemate/toilet mate for 4 days in the jungle. It was a good getaway from the city to get a taste of how the indigenous people live. I have to say that living without electricity and fresh water does make me feel a little handicapped. Then again, I have never learnt to appreciate these little things we always take for granted so much more. On the good side, we managed to count a fruitful amount of globally threatened Plain-pouched Hornbills, a little jungle trekking and of course the best part - kayaking on an amateurishly built raft. Here are a couple of pictures:

My skin is also going through a small transformation at the moment. I learned that smothering on layers of Nivea SPF 50 does not save your skin from getting burnt by the scorching heat in Langkawi. Nevertheless, the trip was a very memorable one. I had my first island hopping and fishing experience. Not to forget, the funny feeling of fishes swimming in my stomach while I was sitting (lying) on the boat for 4 hours. The conclusion is that I am helplessly vulnerable on sea. I am sticking to jungle trekking and hiking from now on.

First, Last & In-betweens

2010-09-10T08:31:00.007+08:00

Yesterday marks the end to my internship at YTL :(

To be honest, I have never loved a job so much, enough for me to consider the job offer instead of continuing my studies :( both the job scope and salary are pretty attractive, grrr. This would actually be the first job I have stayed until the contract date. My previous jobs were all a pain and I ended up quitting all of them earlier than expected. In fact, I wish I could stay longer here at YTL so I can follow-up with the progress of the projects I have participated in and travel to Indonesia, it's a real shameee...

So the past 2 days have been major sadness... farewell lunches and gifts don't make up for it. Saying goodbye to my colleagues and bosses was so much harder than I thought. Nevertheless, I appreciate each one of them from the bottom of my heart. I am thankful for the expensive farewell lunches as well T_T

I had my first 'Lei Cha' at Ying Ker Lou, Pavilion yesterday.
Ty Elaine, Tze Chin & Chee Koon for the lovely lunch! You guys are the best colleagues anyone can ever have.

fry 'nian kao' - a hakka snack

TC's Lei Cha noodles

I learned a lot in the past 3 months. Traveling has to be one of the best parts of this job. Oh I also ate my first PINK GUAVA while I was traveling for work in Perak.

how unusual!

Well, like we were told, we've got to let go of the old so that the new can come.

My holiday really begins NOW!

Elton is back today. This weekend is going to packed with events and celebrations. I am heading to Ipoh on Monday and Belum rainforest on Tuesday until the weekend with Jacqueline. Langkawi the following week. Whoa ho ho ho, the thoughts are a little too overwhelming right now hahaha...

And since I have a sweet tooth, I shall begin my summer holiday with my first Chocolate Durian dessert with Desmond at Hartamas. One of the best ones yet :)

Happy Raya Holiday everyone!
Oh and remember to keep yourself updated with Friends For Motion :)

8 daysss

2010-09-01T22:19:00.009+08:00

Guess what?

It's been more than 3 months since I last saw my boyfriend, and he is finally coming back!!!

Omg it has been too long. I realized how caught up i've been with work and how much i've been committing myself to the whole environmental issue. I totally had him left out T_T and I have never felt more horrible. Elton if you're reading this I am so terribly sorry. I love you nonetheless, I hope you know that.

However, the good thing is that as the day comes closer, the more i'm feeling his warmth and presence. Our friendship is so strong that is surpasses a lot of things, which includes all the tiny misunderstandings and long distances. He is probably the only person who can make me feel like everything will be ok in times of trouble. I know he will always be there for me, to lend me his ear and shoulder to lean on. He has the only shoulders I want to lean on anyway and no way I am sharing them with anyone else =P muahahahaha

Looking forward to another great year with you! It's going to be exciting :) I know.

WHOOPS wrong fella! =P

Just playing, it has been rumored that these 2 beings resemble each other

I however find my boyfriend wayyy better looking (and smelling) duhhh :)

Love you hun, and I promise I will strangle you if you miss that plane. Xx

Thank you for showing that you care =)

2010-09-01T00:03:00.006+08:00

I have recently came up with a campaign to promote environmental awareness to my friends on Facebook by abstaining from meat one day a week as a sign of battling against climate change. Out of the 641 friends I have on Facebook, 41 have pledged, and 34 other people who are not on my friends list have pledged too, totaling a number of 76 people! Not to forget the 26 who will try their best. By being a voice for the animals and environment, I sincerely thank all these people. The environment is something that is very close to my heart and all this support means a lot to me personally.

Many may not know that animals and livestock release a lot of Methane, which is a greenhouse gas 21 times more powerful than Carbon Dioxide. So by cutting back on meat, we will be emitting less Methane into our atmosphere, thus the less need of complaining how warm the weather is getting and how bad we need air conditioning. It's true that it probably won't make a lot of difference, but who knows what could happen if we did? By being good stewards of this Earth, we should stop doing damages to our planet and start saving it. A couple of years back the air temperature was lower than our body temperature, but now it is the other way round. This is serious, and if we do not take this issue seriously enough, we will eventually have to pay. Not only us, but our children, grandchildren and their grandchildren.

Lastly... as for the 143 people on my FB friends list who can't commit themselves, I am crossing my fingers and believing they will show their love in other ways. I am not upset, because I know that a total of 245 people are aware of this, which was my main intention of the campaign to begin with *smileee*

On top of being a vegetarian, I have also started a Facebook group called Friends For Motion (FFM). Like any other non-profit organisations, I hope to get full support for this project. With the help from my fellow editors, we will constantly keep members of FFM updated with environmental issues and little acts they can practice to contribute to our Earth, starting with our very first volunteer campaign which is Vegosaurs For Change. So if you are serious about taking action, join our group on FB today! =)

Believing that even tiny acts can make a huge difference should be the spirit of a true environmentalist, because there is no one human way that can totally change our world upside down, at least not yet.

To be happy, or not?

2010-08-27T23:58:00.004+08:00

My mum told me in the car after work that another Air Mail from Britain was sent to the house for me, it's apparently from the university. I received an offer letter from Nottingham UK a couple of weeks ago for the Masters program I applied for, so why is there another envelope for me? I applied to only 2 universities so far and I was informed last week that my other application has been declined. My mum said its probably the course prospectus or something...

So I came home and opened the envelope to see this

It's an offer letter from Southampton for the program I applied for. Apparently the university made a mistake when they informed me that my application was declined... so in actual fact, I got it!

Other than Nottingham and Southampton, i'm definitely trying my luck with better universities when their application dates are opened. Even so, I already cannot afford the tuition fees, how on earth am I going to afford a better university?

Oh Lord... IF ONLY I was born a princess, my family would be rich enough to afford any education I desire. IF ONLY I went to UK earlier on to pursue my degree, I would be eligible for local fees which is at least 10,000 pounds cheaper. IF ONLY I studied harder, I would probably have scholarship offers in line. IF ONLY...

then I realised that I should stop thinking that way because IF ONLYs are not real.

I seriously need to work harder and pray harder. God help me.

Protect our Hornbills =)

2010-08-24T16:12:00.004+08:00

The email came in today and it's confirmed!

I will be going to Belum-Temenggor Rainforest to monitor Hornbills for 4 days 3 nights =D and what's even better? I'll be going with my bestie/coursemate Jacqueline who is also a nature enthusiast!

This is going to be my first participation in a proper wildlife volunteer project where I actually get to be in the wild, I am EXTREMELY EXCITED!!! I signed up for the program without any hesitation after reading about it on the Malaysian Nature Society website. I told my dad about it after signing up and received a short lecture from him but too bad it was already too late (that's what I usually do so that my parents have no choice but to let me go =P) Not only that, I managed to talk my dad into sponsoring me for the trip. Killing 2 birds with one stone, woohoo! =D

My dad said paying for programs like these is like paying to suffer, I totally disagree with him. In fact, I find it a privilege to be able to contribute back to mother nature through the small little things. The money is donated to fund the project anyway. It is true that I might not be able to get used to not having any electricity supply and phone reception, but I believe I will survive. If the Orang Asli there can survive in this kinda environment & eat that kinda food, so can we =) *crosses fingers* obviously I have been too spoilt for too long.

So what do the volunteers do?

We will be given individual shifts to conduct daily Hornbill flight census and participate in activities like camp crafts, hut enhancement and raft building. There will also be visits to waterfall and Rafflesia sites =) I missed my chance while I was in KK so I hope this time I will be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the renown Rafflesia.

The programme started in August and will be ending in September because this period is like the season where most of the Hornbills appear. I strongly encourage those who are passionate about nature and enjoy adventures to sign up! For more details, visit http://www.mns.my

Mango Mania

2010-08-23T22:37:00.004+08:00

Went to thread my eyebrows in Bangsar with couzie Susan again. Instead of Marmalade, we tried Mango Mania this time! Susan was having a sweet tooth attack so we opted for a more healthy option...

Mango Yogurt!!!

I like my threaded eyebrows :) many people have commented that i've put on a bit of weight after becoming a vegetarian. Hahaha, that is because I get hungry quick and I replace my food with biscuits and junks, that is why! I need to shed off a couple of pounds, so imma replace all my junks with fruits from now on.

Wish me luck ;)

Eileen is angry

2010-08-23T00:25:00.002+08:00

Guys, I would really appreciate it if you all didn't tease me too much.

First of all, please don't tell me that i'm missing out on a lot when I don't eat your juicy pork ribs, yummy lamb chop, extravagant seafood, etc. I eat to live, not live to eat.

Secondly, you have no idea how much the animals you are eating are missing out on - the chance to live & roam freely and not fed with grains & chemicals just so they can be slaughtered with pain & cruelty.

I agree that God gave us animals for our consumption, but not too the extend where we should bestow unnatural treatment upon them and hurt them just to satisfy our taste buds and meet the growing food demand. They obviously feel pain too! Many people choose to ignore this fact but I am not ignorant when it comes to animals and the environment, that's just me.

I respect whatever diet you wish to practice, but please respect mine too. I will not take the vegetables on my plate and throw it in your face when I see you indulging in a piece of steak and neither am I saying I will never eat a hot dog ever again. So I hope you will not try so hard to talk me out of my diet or tell me that I don't have a life because it is very uncomfortable and disrespecting my principles.

My first Bimbo post - the Wishlist

2010-08-21T19:58:00.006+08:00

Hola peeps! I am back from Sarawak. Had loadsa fun and learned a lot throughout the 6 days business trip, what an experience!

So other than the famous Sarawak kek lapis and some tourist souvenirs, I didn't have a lot of time to go around and shop. However, I saw something I adore SO SOO SOO much after I landed in KLIA, it is currently #1 on my wishlist:
If you guys don't already know, I am into a lot of punk and rock right now (I certainly did not lose my girly side if you were wondering)

I stumbled upon this while I was checking out the Victoria's Secret booth in the duty free zone, the black ring in the pretty box caught my attention. Then I took a closer look and found out it is actually a lip gloss ring, my heart fainted immediately T_T I am a real sucker for lip glosses too. Then I took a look at the price... okay, lets TRY to forget about it *walked off*

I hope I can get someone in the States to buy me this, pretty pretty pleaseee... I hardly have a wishlist so it shouldn't be too selfish to ask for something pretty once in a lil' while, righttt? *cheeky smiles*

I checked out the other "Love Rocks" themed merchandises, they were really cool too...

IF ONLY... ... ...

I am happy because...

2010-08-17T22:29:00.004+08:00

I finally found out that Long Houses are found in Sarawak, not Sabah bah! Hahahaha...

Mmm I like Pink Guava juice and Bounty, wish they sold Milky Way as well in their local supermarkets. It's ok, shall get those back in KLIA =)

4 more days in tree wonderland babehhh!

Random facts about me

2010-08-15T23:51:00.007+08:00

that people might already know / don't know

- I am sugar over salt. I have a serious sweet tooth problem.

- I am shy around strangers, but I have a loud laugh which isn't.

- Yellow is my favourite colour, but I also like turquoise & other girly colours like pink & purple.

- I only want 2 children in the future, to minimize human population. I want a daughter, I will name her Demetria, which means lover of the earth.

- My parents think I will never get married. My sister thinks I treat guys like shit.

- I am beach over highlands. I like sun, sand & sea very much.

- I am games over cardio. I like badminton more than running.

- I am flowers over fruits. My perfume, lip balm, soap, lotion are mostly flower scented.

- I abhor liquor. I abhor loud music that drives people deaf.

- Singing is number one on my hobby list. I sing aloud when i'm driving & when I shower.

- I am accessories over clothes, especially earrings, I have over 100 pairs of them no kidding. I like designing and making my own accessories.

- I am non-fiction over fiction. Biographies are my favourite.

- I am movies over TV series. The only TV series I really like is Disney's Sonny with a Chance.

- I am ambitious. I want to invent something that can significantly contribute to the environment. However, I still believe that the smallest things can make BIG changes.

Ok, I think this is it for now. I shall continue with the list when new things come to my mind.

T-minus 12 hours to Sarawak, going to be in Bintulu for work for the next 5 days and Kuching on Saturday. I am sleepy and my luggage is officially 97% packed, I just need to remember my phone charger & laptop bag. I need my sister to cut my hair for me 'cos I can barely see anything through my long black fringe. I need to put in more funky songs in my temporary E72 'toy' so I can play with it in the next 6 days. I need to say goodnight to my boyfriend. I need to stop blogging now or else I won't be able to get up in the morning. Good night blog, Xx

I wanttt...

2010-08-14T09:43:00.000+08:00

WESSEX Water plc, the British unit of YTL Power International Bhd, has started testing a Volkswagen Beetle car that is being powered by gas from human waste.

It is the first such test being done in the UK.

"Waste flushed down toilets of just 70 homes in Bristol is enough to power the Bio-Bug for a year, based on an annual mileage of 10,000 miles," the British firm said in a statement posted on its website.

GENeco, a Wessex Water-owned company, imported specialist equipment to treat gas generated at Bristol sewage treatment works in Avonmouth to power the VW Beetle in a way that does not affect its performance.

GENeco general manager Mohammed Saddiq said that methane from sewage sludge can be used as an alternative energy source, and is an innovative way of powering company vehicles.

"We decided to power a vehicle on the gas, offering a sustainable alternative to using fossil fuels. If you were to drive the car, you wouldn't know it was powered by biogas as it performs just like any conventional car. It is probably the most sustainable car around," he said.

To use biogas without affecting vehicle performance, the gas needs to be treated under a process called biogas upgrading. Carbon dioxide will be separated from the biogas using special equipment.

If all the biogas produced at Avonmouth were converted to run cars, it would prevent the emission of around 19,000 tonnes of carbon dioxide.

Mohammed said that while waste flushed down the toilets in homes in the city provides power for the Bio-Bug, it will not be long before further energy can also be produced from food waste recycled at its sewage works.

"It will mean that both human waste and food waste will be put to good use in a sustainable way that diverts waste from going to landfills,"

he said.

YTL bought Wessex in 2002 for US$1.7 billion (RM5.35 billion) from Azurix Europe Ltd, a unit of bankrupt energy trader Enron Corp.

"This is the time to make mistakes"

2010-08-12T19:37:00.004+08:00

"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like astronaut, president, or in my case... princess.

When we were ten, they asked again and we answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this: who the hell knows?!

This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions, its time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love - a lot. Major in philosophy because there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent.

So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be... we won't have to guess. We'll know."

If you have watched the recent Twilight Saga: Eclipse, you would know that this entire quote was extracted from the graduation speech. Something I cannot agree more with.

A very good saying...

2010-08-08T09:00:00.005+08:00

I saw this somewhere... if i'm not mistaken, it should be a quote from the Facebook page of a friend of mine.

'I ask not to be spared of this pain, but the strength to embrace it as how I embrace all the other good things and happiness in life'

I really feel like the saying could be applied to all of us, or to most of us at least. So many times we look and soak ourselves in the bad sides of life, while forgetting about the good. Looking at the glass as half empty, instead of half full.

When I say all this, I speak for myself too.
To be honest, I am merely a typical girl who also has numerous desires in life. I find joy in being successful and it really disturbs me when I find myself not doing as well as those around me. I whine. I envy them. Then again, I forget to humble myself and remember of those who don't even have a fraction of what I have today.

So I thank God for His new mercies every morning, and His strength to help me through life. I believe He knows what's best for all of us. Sometimes the 'bad things' that we perceive in our heads aren't necessarily bad, God puts us through them because they are good for us, at least He who is sitting above thinks so. These tribulations help us appreciate the other things that have been masked from us, to learn lessons that may come in handy and strengthen up our spirits from within. My friend once told me that God will never put us through trials that are too hard for us to overcome, I strongly embrace that thought.

Self boast is really no boast, self pity is really no pity and talking without the walking is meaningless. I have learned that.

Mel's Shepherd's Pie

2010-08-04T09:11:00.008+08:00

Recently my sister has been obsessed with food. When I say obsessed, I mean OBSESSED. Maybe not food, but she has been hooked to Nigella Lawson's food recipes. Who is to blame her, right? Nigella Lawson's cooking has to be the best thing since sliced bread. But who knows? Like I told my sister, nobody actually tries her cooking, what if it was all a lie and all her food may appear delicious but tastes horrendous in actual fact. That would be total joke if it were true.

Enough nonsense said, my sister spent hours turning the kitchen upside down just to prepare the Shepherd's Pie recipe she found on nigella.com for dinner yesterday. It was indeed a success! (she wouldn't agree but at least I think so)

While waiting, I suppose she attempted making potato chips, which turned out to be SO GOOD! I couldn't stop picking on them...

i'm guessing slicing the potatoes into thin sheets were a pain, that's why she didn't make a lot of it

Then came the Shepherd's Pie which I did not take a picture of because there was chicken in it lol. That's not the point, my thoughtful sister was so nice and specially made a generous portion of vegetarian pie for me. She named it 'Inglorious' which actually tasted the total opposite. I liked it very much, thank you Smelly! You know I love you.

this is the actual Shepherd's Pie with chicken and cheese in it

my 'Inglorious' vegan pie

the leftover seasoned vegetables

I'm having this for lunch again today :) Popped the leftovers in the oven this morning and the aroma stretched out to every corner of the house... mmm, can' wait!

Thinking Out Loud

2010-08-03T09:29:00.007+08:00

I don't know... maybe we could use 'love' depending on the situation. Possibly for different categories, like, in the boys category, I will only say I love my boyfriend. In the food category, I love Banana cake (because that is my favourite). In the colour category, I love yellow! Oh but I like turquoise very much also, i'm not too sure if I love/like yellow or turquoise more. Which one should I love? Oh I am so confused!

'For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life' John 3:16

God loves the world so much that He gave His son for us.

I guess it doesn't matter whether you use the word 'love' on something or somebody, it is how far you are willing to go and to what certain extent are you willing to commit yourself and give up for that one person or thing.

As for those who want to pick on me again on the matter of how much I love / do not love my boyfriend, in all honesty, I love him enough to sacrifice my life for him, but at this point where I do NOT have to, I will pursue my dreams and ambitions first because I obviously do not love him enough to marry him now. I know I need to be able to look after myself and find a fulfilling life in me before I intrude someone else's. So probably to some people, I do not love my boyfriend. As for Elton and myself, we have a mutual understanding on how much we 'love' each other, and that is certainly not for you to judge thank you very much.

On the other hand, I know this is a very mean and sarcastic 'fight back' but I just have to I am so sorry. I will not claim that I love my iPhone because first of all, I do not have an iPhone. Second of all, even if I do have an iPhone, I am not willing to give up nuts for it. But if you love your goodies enough to jump off a cliff to save it, by all means please go ahead. I am in no position to say anything about it although I would strongly advice you to not do so. I am so sorry but I just had to say it!

Oh and since my blog is receiving so much 'love', please do visit my new website at

http://eileensjunkies.blogspot.com

for vegan recipes and steps to an Eco-friendly living!

Cheers and blessings =)

Everything You're Not

2010-08-02T13:43:00.004+08:00

This song is for the jerks who have insulted & mistreated me, my family (mummy & sister), my best friends (Pui Mun & Winney), my girlfriends (Jacqueline, Michelle Eliza, Priscilla, Sarah Lim, Tsze...) and the girls from youth.

Suck this!
We deserve so much better, LOL

I've been bruised and I've been broken
Can't believe that I put up with all this pain
I've been used and I was choking on the promise
I would never fall again

I used to sing to your twisted symphony
The words that had me trapped inside your misery
But now I know the reason why I couldn't breathe

'Cause all I want is everything you're not
So go ahead and slam the door 'cause you can't shut me out
No, I don't, don't care what you say
'Cause all I really, all I really want is everything you're not

Never gonna break my heart again
Never gonna see your face again
Never wanna feel this way again

Your darkness was my weakness
But it turns out that it only went so deep
A meaningless diversion
That is all that you ever meant to me

And I am done with your twisted symphony
The words that had me sound like stolen poetry
I tore the pages and I can finally breathe

'Cause all I want is everything you're not
So go ahead and slam the door 'cause you can't shut me out
No, I don't, don't care what you say
'Cause all I really, all I really want is everything you're not

Never gonna break my heart again
Never gonna see your face again

I want a gentleman who treats me like a queen
I need respect, I need love, nothing in between
I will not spell it out for you if you can't see
'Cause you're not worthy, you don't deserve me and now I'm gone

Everything you're not, not, not
Everything you're not, not, not

'Cause all I want is everything you're not
So go ahead and slam the door 'cause you can't shut me out
No, I don't, don't care what you say
All I really, all I really want is everything you're not

Never gonna break my heart again
Never gonna see your face again
Never wanna feel this way again

This thing called 'Love'

2010-07-31T15:49:00.011+08:00

is very subjective.

I realized that there were a handful of people who read my previous post on relationship. Some agreed, some disagreed.

Please allow me to make it clear that I DO NOT claim that my thinking is right, nor is yours wrong. We all have different perspectives and I think of relationship and wrote mine based on my very own experiences. If you do not agree with me, just say you disagree, please do not claim that I am wrong. I've been through a 5 year relationship which made me who I am today, portraying the way I think, the way I behave towards a guy, etc. Seriously, if you are not me, please do not claim that I am immature and selfish. What do you know about me?

Also, if you need any clarifications, please ask me directly and stop making assumptions. I did NOT break up with my boyfriend. I was merely posting about my thoughts on my friend's situation because she recently got married. How on earth can people assume that I broke up with Elton based on the post I wrote!? How twisted can your mind get?

Yes I do have issues with placing my trust in guys. Elton knows that and he has worked his ass off to make sure my faith in him won't be shaken. I truly admire him and appreciate him for the effort. It's all about the heart. We still have a lot to discover about each other. We have been together for like what, 5 months now? I am NOT saying that I will marry him. I'm not saying anything at all. I can hardly look after myself and secure my own future. Wouldn't it be so selfish to put that burden on him too? What more he is 2 years younger than me. Life has just begun for him and the uncertain future holds so much for us. Who knows if I die the next second? I have never lied nor hid anything from Elton. I would even copy paste and screen shot all my conversations and messages exchanged with the other guys he doesn't trust. Who are you to say that I don't love and treat him right? You even made a complain before he made any.

Come on, I will definitely put my heart in something I love and be totally sincere and honest about it. But if I already know that something CANNOT happen, I am practical enough to withdraw myself from the situation to avoid getting hurt. This is called being matured enough to look after myself, before looking after others. I know what the bible talks about love, that it does not boast nor is it selfish. Who are you to say that I am not fit to use the word 'love'? In fact, I honestly think the word 'love' has been underrated. I would never use 'love' to describe my favourite food / colour / things. I will only use it when I mean it. When I do use it, you would know I am willing to circle the world and even give up my life for it. So think twice before you claim you LOVE something.

Can't sleep

2010-07-29T22:11:00.003+08:00

It's past 10pm which is my supposed bedtime.
I can't sleep because my tummy is bloated from supper =( I made myself 2 peanut butter and blueberry jam sandwiches earlier on.

I really hate the time of the month where my monthly 'visitor' gives me a tonne of problems - backache, uncomfortable stomach, bloated tummy, sugar cravings, etc. Mind you I don't have a lot of self-control when it comes to sugar and battling with my emotional needs, it's the only way to suppress my monthly mood swings, unfortunately.

I guess I shall continue watching the Disney comedy series I downloaded recently - Sonny with a Chance, and hopefully, laugh enough to make me sleep.

ToodlesZzz

Now is this mature?

2010-07-29T00:01:00.004+08:00

First of all, many apologies for not specifying the situation of which made me create such a statement in my previous post. Please allow me to make clear that I typed the post based on inspiration given by a specific situation of a friend of mine.

Given in a situation whereby you have been in a serious relationship with somebody you love, you guys have been dating for many years, let say 5 years to be specific. Suddenly the other party decides that he wants to leave the country to another place for good, while this is totally not what you want. So you respect that person's decision, the person leaves the country, and along the way another person comes into your life. The new person offers you love, care, attention and even a lifetime. And you start to fall in love with this new person because of other factors too (compatibility, personality, interests, etc) in this case, what would you do?

I can be sure to make a statement by saying that, a more matured person will be wise in making her decision and choose the more practical path. Honestly, we all do not live in fairy tales and as a girl, I personally would choose a guy who is able to capture my heart and at the same time be around for me when I need somebody. When it comes to something as serious as marriage, I would obviously pick the person who can be around me for life, instead of waiting for that same old guy who has decided that he loves another country more than he loves me.

Now truthfully speaking from my point of view. I personally have been in a 5 year long relationship as well which did not turn out a happily ever after as much as I wanted it to at the time. Simply because I did not see a future with the person because I decided that I was young and I wanted to live and discover my life more than I wanted to be with anyone. Besides, if I had to choose, I would also prefer being with someone whom I am fond of who is able to be around for me (at least long enough to keep me rest assured). Love doesn't die off, it merely transforms into another kind of love. Probably not a lovey dovey boy girl love, but a more matured love. In this case, am I not worthy of using the word 'love'? Honestly, I did love that person, but I decided that I love myself more and I chose to live a life where I know I will be happy and carry no regrets till the end.

I guess it all narrows down to the question, which do you love more?

Does all this make any sense at all?

Guys if you want to know why

2010-07-28T01:13:00.003+08:00

... she chooses him over you

To be honest, a mature woman will always choose to be with the person who will be there for her over someone she loves more but is a thousand miles away and sees him only once in a hurricane. Simply pointless and a waste of time.

Marmalade, Bangsar Village II

2010-07-27T09:37:00.007+08:00

After church service last Sunday, I quickly rushed off to the nearest Caring pharmacy I could find to buy steroid cream for my skin rash. My lip area was infected my skin allergy about a week ago after using a SK2 hydration mask which contains chemicals I never knew my skin is allergic to. Stupid 50 bucks mask, good thing it was a gift. I have very cheap skin, only my RM6 The Face Shop cucumber facial mask is able to keep my skin at its top condition. Lolocopter.

While I was driving home after purchasing the cream, Susan called and told me to meet her at Bangsar for threading and lunch, so I did. Threading at Bangsar is only RM5, an indian shop right opposite Bangsar Village 2, it was very well done too.We then proceeded to Village Grocer to purchase some cereal boxes for breakfast and headed to Marmalade for lunch. I have to say that the cafe was very cosy and comforting, it must be the white walls and pretty paintings, somehow it reminded me of Delicious.

We were welcomed by a dessert counter which displayed an appealing variety of cupcakes and pies. The carrot cake in particular, made me hungry. So we quickly grabbed a seat and started ordering from the menu...

Cappuccino - RM8

Ginger and mint Tea - RM8

I ordered a Ginger and mint Tea with ice too! Light and refreshing, highly recommend it!

Susan thought I was gonne be pathetic and order salad. Turned out that their menu had a list of Vego food. So I ordered this Grilled Vegetables with Hummus Lebanese Wrap. It is the most amazing wrap I have ever tasted so far =) Better than meat, even Susan was inspired to make it!

Susan's Chicken Pie

A bit on the pricy side. However, great food and atmosphere, totally enjoyed it!

...

This is completely out of the topic but thanks to Desmond, I finally managed to satisfy my craving for pandan Ban Chang Kuih (BCK), yay!!!

SS2 pasar malam simply unblues my every Monday. I am a happy soul.

Trend diets suck

2010-07-20T21:48:00.003+08:00

No carb diet, raw diet, south beach diet, yada yada yada... these trend diets are just the beginning to major weight gain.

Seriously, I rather be normal and feel great than be very skinny and miserable!

I am eating healthy and working out more from now on =) well done me *pats self*

Make A Wave

2010-07-18T21:15:00.004+08:00

I believe in the words of this song, that is why i love it so much and i'm here to share it!

They say the beat of a butterfly's wings
can set off a storm a world away
What if they're right and the smallest of things
can power the strongest hurricane
What if it all begins inside
we hold the key that turns the tide

Just a pebble in the water
Can set the sea in motion
A simple act of kindness
Can stir the widest ocean
If we show a little love
heaven knows what we could change
So throw a pebble in the water
Make a wave, make a wave

The single choice to take a stand
And reach out your hand to someone in need
Don't fool yourself and say you can't
You never know what can grow from just one seed
So come with me and seize the day
This world may never be the same

Just a pebble in the water
Can set the sea in motion
A simple act of kindness
Can stir the widest ocean
If we show a little love
heaven knows what we could change
So throw a pebble in the water
Make a wave, make a wave

................

We all have choices and i chose not to be ignorant, this is very much why i decided to become a vegan =)

I didn't know Vanessa Hudgens had bangs!

2010-07-12T23:04:00.014+08:00

After watching Jennifer Lopez in The Backup Plan, i fell for her bangs which made her look amazingly sexy... so i decided to get myself bangs over the weekend too! J Lo is so HOT she has won my heart =P

I was browsing through a magazine at the salon on a column about celebrity with bangs, i happen to stumble upon a few other celebrities who look great with the edgy fringe! Vanessa Hudgens was one of them...

And here is mine... can't really pull it off though, unfortunately

If Elton was around, he'd prolly say I look like Kim Kardashian now T_T

I took up a part time job over the weekend - pregnant mothers' conference by Pitter Patter for pregnant ladies and their husbands.
It was soo sweet and i'm definitely looking forward to having my own baby soon, i mean, ASAP =P i really love kids

celebrity chef Ismail cooking chicken masala and banana shake with mama's milk

I also attended YTL's granddaughter(who is also my boss)'s Wedding ceremony on Saturday

so there goes another weekend, which didn't feel like a weekend at all :(
I desperately need comfort food.

A bowl of sweet potatoes in ginger syrup would be fantastic =)

I mean it when I say...

2010-07-08T18:55:00.001+08:00

I need to breathe.

Food for Thought

2010-07-07T00:12:00.002+08:00

We often put the blame on human being for deforestation and other destruction of natural resources.

Then human being will argue back, why did we eliminate the scenario where natural resources were disrupted by natural disasters?

Well, simply because we are the main contribution to most of the natural disasters.

Climate change IS man-made.

The Day We Find Love

2010-07-04T21:42:00.008+08:00

First of all, please allow me to promote my fantastic boyfriend's talents in music before I start talking about other irrelevant matters.I witnessed this flawless performance on my own so feel free to watch the video i took below :) my boyfriend is so amazing i am so lucky to have my hands on him :P

Who do you love? - this is another one by Eltonleon :) excellent vocals

he is indeed handsome and gifted, isn't he?
THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND EVERYBODY!!!

So i have been a vegan for 3 weeks now. I have to admit that practicing vegetarianism really isn't easy. The most challenging part of my vegan lifestyle would be eating out, especially when i'm out with my colleagues/friends. Many times i'd be carrying my own food, eating food decorations or not eating at all. Doesn't that just answer why people are trying so hard to promote vegan lifestyles? Simply because people consume meat as if they fall from the sky. Now farmers have to manufacture animals by feeding them grains and drugs instead of raising them like GOOD OLD TIMES *grrr*
I shall further explain the reason i decided to become a vegosaur in my next post.
So moving on... i had a nice malay dinner with Des and Smelly on Saturday at Jemari.

They have the most amazing Kangkung Kerabu in the entire world

Desmond's sirap selasih

Poor people (or just my sister) had to eat almost all vego dishes. So they ordered fish and tofu too!

Smelly and I went to Bangsar after lunch on Sunday.
We were on a dress-hunting spree and Smelly managed to find a drop-dead gorgeous tube dress - to be seen soon ;)

Mmm.. Red bean-ice and peanut-butter toast are my favourite :)
And, they're dairy-free!

I miss having tea & dessert sessions with my sister. I recall we used to do it every weekend to catch up with each other and talk about everything under the sun. We must keep to this unspoken tradition even after we have our own families next time okay Smelly? Our husbands will be babysitting them at home.

6/7/2010: Sime Darby Lecture Series
"Securing Tomorrow's World: Using Nature's Wealth More Sustainably" by Jonathan Porritt, Sime Darby Convention Centre

menu for the night, of which i refuse to eat 99% of the food served

so i just took pictures!

thankfully they served free flow of various breads, i ate a basketful and downed glasses of guava juice haha!

Jonathan Porritt is such an awesome environmentalist! I totally respect his blatant character and the fact that he's not afraid of offending people by defending the truth. He mentioned about Petronas Twin Towers consuming a hell lot of energy, that was something funny I recall from the night.
I will be following his blog posts from now on at http://www.jonathanporritt.com

healthy/unhealthy addictions i can't get rid of

2010-07-01T15:54:00.009+08:00

*drum rolls*

#3: Nuts and Beans

I constantly find myself carrying a small container of almonds in my handbag and pop a handful in my mouth whenever i feel the urge to munch. These babies are definitely addictive, you can't say no to the pleasing crunchy feel it gives you. Don't even go to red bean soup... i crave for anything with adzuki beans ALL THE TIME.

#2 Pastries, Cakes and Cookies
(the culprits)

...or anything SWEET for that matter.

If you don't already know, i strongly believe i was born to eat more sugar than rice.

Recently i got hooked to the aromatic scent of Cinnamon, so i bought 100gms of Cinnamon powder a couple of days ago at Isetan which i intend to use for baking ginger cookies this weekend. However, i was tempted to open the packet and do something with it since 100gms is more than enough for baking anyway... so i did! I made Cinnamon sugar for bread spread and i've also been sprinkling cinnamon powder in everything i eat, e.g. oats, diary-free milk...etc.

Okay, so now comes the ultimate addiction...

#1: Sweet Potatoes

these gorgeous petite darlings have been ranked number one in nutrition. They are indeed very healthy and most nutritious in the list of vegetables.

Steamy sweet potatoes, sweet potato in ginger syrup, sweet potato pies, bubur cha-cha, etc...
SIMPLY HEAVENLY :))

AWW

2010-07-01T00:29:00.002+08:00

I received an e-mail from Jacqueline this evening. It is so extremely cute i just have to share it!

and the title of the e-mail was:

STOP CUTTING DOWN TREES!!!
This is getting SERIOUS

Farewell dinner for Ottavia

2010-06-25T08:59:00.005+08:00

Had a lovely dinner last night with the rest of my colleagues and our director in conjunction with our Italian senior consultant, Ottavia's farewell. She has been with the company for 6 months and she'll be leaving for UK with her husband and kids after this.

Dinner was at Annalakshmi, which is located in the Temple of Fine Arts at Brickfields.
What an interesting place!

The dinner was beyond two thumbs up. Vegetarian food buffet, cooked and served with love by volunteers and housewives. The people who served us were very polite and helpful too!

Oh and i never knew indian food could be that filling. This was literally all i ate plus 2 more coriander chapatis and i was so stuffed! I'd highly recommend this place, especially for those who are vegans/vegetarians like me.

Not only that, they call it "vegetarian-buffet-and-pay-as-you-wish". That pretty much says it all :) there is no fixed price for this buffet as they accept any amount of money you contribute which will eventually be donated to charity. So even if you walk out without paying, no one is gonne come after you! Haha, but of course you wouldn't do that if you're humaneee..

hmm.. it's about time to clean my camera lens

a little warning

2010-06-21T23:20:00.005+08:00

NEVER EVER wear killer heels when you intend to take public transport to work

thanks to the monorail break down this morning, i arrived at work 40 minutes late, drenched in sweat and gifted with this!

Did you know?

2010-06-21T09:56:00.002+08:00

..that there are probably only 3200 tigers left on our planet

help our endangered Malayan tigers and Marine turtles today!

fact of the day!

2010-06-20T19:34:00.002+08:00

Eating 1lb. of meat emits the same amount of greenhouse gasses as driving an SUV 40 miles.

start with little steps, try being a vego once a week! :) YOU can make a difference

i love the environment. i love the environment. i love the environment.

2010-06-18T20:18:00.002+08:00

Now let me repeat that sentence over again for another ten thousand times and probably i will get over the fact that i will need to crawl out of bed early in the morning and go to work tomorrow.

Simply because it's the launching of our annual climate change week, i have to be there as a supportive employee. Our company is really small and consists of only 1 director, 2 consultants and yours truly. It would be too obvious if i wasn't there to give my full support, after all..

I love the environment, i love the environment, i love the environment..

Gah it still doesn't make sense, i leave behind more carbon footprints when i go to work!

i can't wait..

2010-06-17T19:56:00.002+08:00

to meet up with my 2 best friends in the whole universe!

that wish is about to come true extremely soon :))))))))

because no one else knows me the way you both do, and it has always been the same since we knew each other 9 years ago
Oh my gosh we ARE getting oldd..

New discovery!

2010-06-16T13:31:00.003+08:00

As usual, i would bring my lunch box down to Isetan's 'high-class' foodcourt during my lunch break (high class because it is nice and everything at the food court is highly overpriced)

While looking for a place to sit, i 'accidentally' stumbled across a stall selling famous Seremban siew paos and egg tarts. Being a huge fan of egg tarts, i paid extra attention to the pastries, and i noticeddd..

THIS!

Green tea Egg tart

How interesting! This is my first time coming across such a unique egg tart flavour.
Oh and it tasted really good. Although it was rather pricy (rm1.80) but it was big for an egg tart and it had so much filling inside with the thin side pastry! Mmm.. yum! definitely worth a try

"The Zone"

2010-06-13T12:25:00.016+08:00

As i was having a chat with my mummy yesterday in the living room over breakfast, i was telling her about my toothache i got 2 days ago which i believe is because i've been eating too much sugary food, she then responded to me by telling me that i've put on weight and i really need to start watching what i eat.

:( it's true, i've been replacing all my main meals with peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, ice-cream, chocolate cookies.. etc etc..

So, i decided to go on a diet. Not just any diet, but the Zone Diet.

So this is the story behind it and how it works..

The zone diet centres on a 40:30:30 ratio of calories obtained from carbs, protein and fat. So literally, you still eat whatever but ensuring the ratios are in place. Veggies & fruits would act as supplements on top of that.

So the diet doesn't actually help a person drop 10 pounds instantly, but it is supposed to help a person lose weight indirectly at a reasonable rate by balancing up the hormone levels in the body. When the insulin and glucagon levels are balanced, a person won't feel hungry all the time or in need of sweet food, which is perfect for me! Plus, diets like these can be really filling..

The zone diet is absolutely safe and healthy! So i decided to try it and this is one of the examples of my meal now..

My lunch today:

spinach noodles tossed with sesame oil topped with tomato omelette

Oh, and i also baked a Mississippi Pecan Pie for daddy's belated birthday yesterday

It looks horrible in the picture, must be my oil-stained phone camera surface while i was baking.. the pecan nuts on the surface were a lil' burnt and the pie pastry was a bit too hard and biscuity. This is my first time baking a pie so i really have loadsa improvement to make. It's also times like these when i wish my annoying boyfriend was around because only he would be silly enough to finish up whatever i cook, even if it tasted tremendously awful.. please come back soon wombat :(

Let me end this post with a couple of pictures i absolutely loveee..

wombat who is in London now
our first facial, massage and fish spa experience.. thanks to Mei che who treated us! It was really nice :)

my favourite place in the world and also the place i spent atleast 12 hours everyday in the past month

a "ring" Elton drew on my finger when we were going through extreme exam stress while studying

vanilla bread pudding i baked for Mother's Day

isn't my baby sister soo adorable?

Cosmopolitan that made me happy when i was out with Tsze

Part-time job:
Mother's Day Tea Party at Carcosa Seri Negara

our supervisor booked a room for us to keep our belongings, so my crazy sister & i lazed here after work like jakuns

the lovely buffet area

stole some leftover scones with strawberry jam & cream :P

How am I supposed to live without you?

2010-06-07T21:51:00.005+08:00

One of the many songs you sang for me..

Tell me how am I supposed to live without you
Now that I've been lovin' you so long
How am I supposed to live without you
How am I supposed to carry on
When all that I've been livin' for is gone

i am reluctant to go to sleep tonight

2010-06-04T02:17:00.004+08:00

just because you made my bed so nicely before you left this morning

elton returns to the jungle

2010-06-03T06:59:00.008+08:00

5 more hours before Elton leaves to Sabah and UK for the next 3~4 months. I'm glad i managed to spend the last couple of days with him.

I am going to miss the simple thoughts and things you do for me - the time you sat on the floor for more than 2 hours to fix my favourite pair of heels. Everyone was staring at us when you went barefoot and i wore your enormous shoes walking around the mall.

I am going to miss the silly things and pranks we play on each other
what kinda couple calls each other dumbasses?

Someone who will sing and play little melodies to me
they never fail to lift my soul and cheer me up

I am going to miss being with someone whom i can be so comfortable with
I can only think of one person who would be dumb enough to listen to what i say =P

Most of all, i am gonne miss our head hugs

Have a safe flight and come back soon =) i'll be waiting

a lovely surprise

2010-05-04T08:01:00.004+08:00

Thank you sweetie for the flowers! You really cheered the 3 of us up and not to mention the house smells so much better now. And i'm so sorry i couldn't find you a gigantic vase, so we can only use the pail for now.

2 missing pieces

2010-04-29T18:00:00.005+08:00

My two best friends in the whole world
a.k.a
Husband & Wife :)

I can't wait to see Winney this Saturday and MunX2 in June after she flies back from Canada.

If only it were possible, i wish to see you guys every second of my life.
After all, we are married; the enormous gap between the 3 of us doesn't make any sense at all.

i love you

2010-04-27T02:28:00.003+08:00

we can do anything together, you know that?

so even as hopeless as you are, i will always be there for you, i promise :)

I AM CRAVING FOR...

2010-04-24T13:26:00.002+08:00

Ahh.. how i wish i had a magic lamp with a Genie inside.
I would wish for ice-cream and more wishes..

"your mom says i'm hot"

2010-04-24T12:55:00.006+08:00

The iron man has finally collapsed.

As Elton was lying sick in bed while I was sitting by his side trying to figure out what he was mumbling at the corner of his mouth (he still talks A LOT even when he's sick!), mummy walked into the room to see how he was feeling..

Mummy: Why are you sleeping without the fan? You're having a fever, you should turn on the fan!

*mummy places hand across Elton's forehead and neck*

Mummy: You are so hot! I am going to make you some herbal tea. *walks out of the room*

Elton turned to look at me..

Elton: Eh, your mom just said i'm hot *cheekily winks at me*

Me: ... ... T_T||| *faint*

miss you

2010-04-21T16:56:00.007+08:00

I haven't seen Elton for a couple of days now. He spent the weekend with his boyfriends and he's currently in Genting, far far away from me. So after he left, i thought i'd be able to lose a couple of pounds and MAYBE surprise him after he's back.. but..

I have been eating more than ever, literally
T_T

I IS MAJOR PHAILHOREEE

I believe the reason is because i have no one to share my food with or steal my food away from me, so obviously i really need you

Please come back soon or else you will have to live with an obese girlfriend for a while :( and imagine the coming 3 months when we're gonne be apart from each other, ahh.. *pengsan*

soli solli

2010-04-20T17:09:00.003+08:00

I is busy, no time for update. Yet.

superficiality

2010-04-10T23:38:00.004+08:00

Because one day you will get up from your sleep and realise that everybody in this world is living in a lie. Everyone is bound to have an ugly story behind their seemingly perfect lives.

Sometimes i wonder if i am being caught in the same trap as everyone else. When i live a lie, i am most probably living in other people's lies too.

So then when will i wake?

food art

2010-04-07T17:07:00.022+08:00

So i have been putting on a couple of extra pounds lately due to my irregular hormones and happiness :)

(it is true that being happy makes people fat!)

Here are a couple of pictures that portray the nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine ways you can get creative with your food..

although i did not ask for his permission, i'm sure he doesn't mind being my model for this post..

So it started one fine sunny morning when Elton Leon and i decided to cook a nice breakfast together at my house..

then, the strangest idea popped out of his morning mind..

he made me a peanut butter & chocolate with bacon & egg sandwich
bacon sandwich has never tasted any better to be honest

he proceeded in making.. this.. which consists of frankfurters, scrambled eggs, bacon, pink guava and dragon fruit -i-don't-know-what-it's-called but it sure did not taste too bad =S

What a breakfast!

... ... ...

Have i also mentioned that other than eating, he also enjoys playing with his food?

Dinner at Betty's Midwest Kitchen

meatloaf

sloppy joe

when the creative engine starts..

VOILA!

one meaty sloppy loaf called joe

... ... ...

a lunch where we made lamb shank and beef steak with hainanese sauce

... ... ...

Easter picnic where he made peanut butter & chocolate french toast with egg and nasi lemak

... ... ...

Elton has an exam to study for tomorrow so i cooked corn with spicy lentil soup, black pepper bacon and mushroom & onion omelet for dinner tonight. After all the cooking and oil splattering everywhere, i went to take a quick shower and walked out of the bathroom to see some food Elton saved for me.

Aww..! Thank you hun =))

BUT

you just had to

T_T

Smelly if you're reading this, i'm sure you understand now why Elton and i get along perfectly =P

So if i do die anytime soon, i believe the only valid cause would be Stomach Confusion

thank you Jesus :)

2010-04-01T08:16:00.026+08:00

It is said that people will only remember God during times of trials and troubles, but I am here to prove that saying WRONGGG..

My recent list of blessings from God:

1) I got an internship offer from YTL
2) I got a boyfriend, whom i don't have to be in a LDR with anymoreee
3) I got my best friends =DDD

i am truly grateful =)

Blog is getting a tad bit dull, so here are some pictures for entertainment purposes..

MTQ 2010 is finally over

i didn't win.

however, i got myself a handsome guitarist, a bunch of supportive friends and 1st runner up =) it definitely felt like first

Had a blast at Kota Kinabalu with one of my closest friends Michelle

i also managed to reach the top of Mount Kinabalu's peak!

i don't have to learn kickboxing which gives me bruises anymore because Elton is here to stay, so he can be my bodyguard from now on

Last but not least, I have to show the world how much these 2 people mean to me..

the girlfriend / female version of Elton

the boyfriend / male version of Jacqueline

they drive me nuts, but make me smile

having the both of you side by side has got to be the craziest, yet heartiest feeling ever =)

stay tune!
up next: 21st birthday pictures from Singapore

wipe all the sorrows away

2010-03-30T22:58:00.008+08:00

for you are here to stay!!! =DDDDDD

(now greg who reads this is gonne get diabetes hahahahha.. )

i wish time would stop here

2010-03-27T02:36:00.000+08:00

or atleast just slow down

please

practicing good-byes

2010-03-25T02:28:00.002+08:00

'Cos I know, this isn't the first time
It won't be the last time
I surrender my soul
'Cos you're always, keepin' me waitin', anticipatin'
The day we find love once again

I will do everything i can to make it work, don't you worry :)

i need to find you, i gotta find you

2010-03-17T08:53:00.005+08:00

I have always had trust issues when it comes to boys, and that plays a very big part in why i refuse to date & believe the words spoken by that particular species. However, i do place my trust in the Lord, and i believe that God will place the right person in my life at the right time in the right situation.

It may sound very corny, but this is one of my prayers to the Lord every night before i sleep..

"Oh Lord you know what's best for me. So if he is the one, please show me. I've given up trying to decide for myself because they always end up being the wrong choices."

But this time, i'm pretty sure God has spoken. And i have found you - my very own troy bolton, heehee.

Anyway am supposed to be busy packing for Kinabalu tomorrow, but dang this Bejeweled Blitz i can't seem to get my fingers off the mouse! I really need to beat the high scoreee..
I hope i don't roll down from the mountain with frozen toes and broken nails on Saturday, so wish me luck! No no, pray for me :) Amen.

cheats and liars

2010-03-14T02:33:00.002+08:00

Boys are cheats and liars,
They're such a big disgrace,
They will tell you anything
To get to second base-

-ball, baseball,
He thinks he's gonna score,
If you let him go all the way
Then you are a whore-

-ticulturists study flowers,
Geologists study rocks,
The only thing a guy wants from you
Is a place to put his cock-

-roaches, beetles,
Butterflies, and bugs,
Nothing makes him happier
Than a giant pair of jug-

-lers and acrobats
And dancing bears named chuck,
All boys want to do is...
Forget it no such luck.

kempen ELD

2010-03-13T10:22:00.003+08:00

So they made a poster of me with my profile. A couple of grammatical errors but you get the idea..

So if you are not doing anything on Tuesday night March the 16th, bring your ear plugs to Semenyih and be ready to be overwhelmed :D would appreciate all the support i can get 'cos nothing means more to me than having friends by my side especially at times like these, not even being the winner will do. So..

MARILAH!!!

i really need to improve my advertising skills; won't be surprised if no one actually showed up.

i have a reason to blog now =)

2010-02-23T18:49:00.004+08:00

First of all, i would like to thank Mark Lim Eu Jin for the early.. amazing.. totally unexpected 21st birthday gift. It was really thoughtful of you and i cannot ask for anything more. It is so good looking yet practical, thank you so much =) it must've cost a bomb..

CNY is coming to an end.. oh mann =( other than the heap of CNY cookies and red packets, one other thing i look forward to every year is the shopping. Daddy would give us some money every CNY to shop for new clothes and stuff. However, i decided to do something different with the money this year - give my room a makeover. I shall post up some new pictures once i get the room done =)

It's unbelievable how much dust and dead insect bodies can collect in corners of your room where you hardly notice after idk how long. It took me 2 whole days just to wipe off the inches of dirt T_T it's soo unbelievable i can cry after thinking of the many years i've been sleeping and sharing the same room with all these peculiar uber-micro-once used to be organisms. Just the thought of it gives me the shivers.

So while cleaning up my shelves and getting rid of some old college text books, i stumbled upon a folder where i used to keep all my test papers and found all this!

I seriously, cannot, remember, how, i, did, it.. i am amazed by myself and i wish i could be that genius girl in college again because my results are nothing like this now. Can cry man.. then again, i am a person who strongly believes that exams and tests are the lamest way of determining somebody's ability. Hence explains why i'm not really affected by results.. everyone deserves a second chance, no? But then again, this thought of mine just might be a really bad thing.

One more month and i'll be climbing Southeast Asia's highest peak. I am totally excited about it! =) one thing i enjoy most and look forward to is the weekly training / hiking routine at Gasing hill. It hasn't really crossed my mind that we won't be doing it anymore after Mount K. What a bummer..

I'll be traveling on my own this coming Thursday to somewhere i cannot tell right now. I'll blog about it after i'm back though.. so stay tuned if you wanna know about my sweet escape =) heehee..

Your mercies are new every morning

2010-02-19T08:34:00.008+08:00

CNY has been a bomb.

The tremendously long car rides were dreadful, but being able to spend the past week with my family is something i am so thankful for i wouldn't have had my CNY any other way. I realised how preoccupied i've been with myself for the past 2 years to notice the massive change in my family. It breaks my heart to see how mummy is becoming more and more forgetful everyday. My sister is transforming into a lady, and omg, she can drive now.

I loved how the 3 of us spent the past 3 nights sandwiching each other on a queen-sized bed like hamsters. I don't remember the last time we traveled together as a family. We are so comfortable with each other it amazes me how you both can overlook my nonsense and not be ashamed of who i am. Mummy is my super woman and Melly is my best friend. Despite the absent mind, mummy makes sure we walk right spiritually and constantly reminds us to give thanks to God every morning when we wake up.
Yes, thank God, for holding us together.

don't you get it???

2010-02-12T00:15:00.002+08:00

Just leave me alone.

I LOVE being left alone. Stop calling. It's annoying and it pisses me off. Don't you get it when someone refuses to answer your calls and reply your texts!? Find someone else to bug. GAH!

goodbye seems to be the hardest word

2010-02-09T10:36:00.003+08:00

Oh oh check out my new header! Sarah did it for me over Starbucks during the weekend =)) ty so much Sarah! I do love it. Oh my love for vintage flowersss..

9 more days before you leave for Melbourne. I'm gonne miss you so much :( i'm gonne be tremendously deprived of all the girly talks over coffee.

Okay. I shall keep the rest of my personal speech to Sarah in private. I'll think of something to blog about soon.

one thing i hate about myself

2010-01-28T20:29:00.003+08:00

My self-esteem.

I have officially been beaten down to the lowest of lowest.
Not by you, but by myself. Just because i thought i was all that.

pic of the day!

2010-01-27T20:13:00.003+08:00

People say that i'm a scary girl, which i don't doubt is true.
I love challenges, defying gravity and multiplying things.
So if you give me a bit of crap, i will, return you a tonne of shit.

This has got to be my favourite one yet.

it's the time of the month where i transform into a pms monster, so don't hold anything against me

bummed out

2010-01-27T08:49:00.002+08:00

How long has it been now?

Just when i thought i was strong enough and could handle it all, you had to tell me that you have doubts.

You've shattered the dream i was hoping to achieve, the destiny i was longing to live in, the new chapters of my life i was looking forward to unfolding. I lived this whole time hoping for the better, but you made me realise that i was merely pretending to be strong all this while.

Yet, i cannot blame you. I forgot that this was all a gamble - 6 faces of the dice we could never be sure which side was going to appear. Why didn't i see that you were never ready to roll it to begin with?

Uncertainties are killing our future prospects. It's time for me to wake up from this happily ever after dream of mine and accept the fact that this is all just a phase, and it's going to be over very soon.

to give up, or not?

2010-01-26T15:31:00.002+08:00

So it has been said; Life is not a bed of roses.

We work so hard, everyday of our lives, hoping to make our future the way we want it to be, to reach the dream we have always wanted accomplish.

What for?

Does it really matter whether we die happy or unhappy? We still die. End of story.

All our lives will eventually channel to the same ending no matter how different we are and want to be.

it's time

2010-01-25T22:41:00.002+08:00

Today's the beginning of a new semester. It started off pretty excitingly with Chemical and Phase Equilibria.. but it was boring to death by the end of the day.

I am scared, i admit it. It's getting closer to the real thing.

Anyway it's about time i started putting up posts again despite the zero number of readers. I miss writing, not technically, since i am only typing right now. If i didn't choose to study chemical engineering or environmental science, i would have definitely picked english or journalism or something that involves writing =)

Life is getting a tad bit dull.. but i am definitely looking forward to unfolding new chapters of my life this year. I guess it's gonne start off with my runaway 21st birthday plan.. followed by hiking in March and backpacking trip to Europe in June. *crosses fingers that it all works out* wish me luck!

I'm back to the study desk, again.. toodles!

takes time to realise

2009-12-23T08:42:00.006+08:00

The sound of Christmas carols, the sight of pretty lights and ornaments nicely decorated wherever I go, the anticipation of spirits all around me..

Christmas holidays?
No. That's just too good to be true.

After spending an entire day in the computer lab on Monday, I finally handed in my assignments that i've been working on for an entire month. However, the working momentum has caused me to suffocate continuously in this hectic life of mine. I need to consciously remind myself that it's break time now, even.

I decided to go for a run on Monday evening which felt great, then spent the night on my own in quiet, cosy room of mine located in silent town Semenyih watching The Holiday. I picked this movie off my laptop just so to let the Christmas feel break into me a little, obviously it didn't work. I enjoyed the movie very much nevertheless. I can now relate to Cameron Diaz's role as Amanda in the show - an independent, strong, organised, rich, successful, single workaholic-cum-control freak that doesn't cry.

When I think about the fact that my life just might end up like Amanda's, I don't fret anymore. In fact, I am loving the journey so far. I have definitely placed the importance of work and being successful above all else and i'm not gonne stop driving myself until I get there. I don't remember the last time I cried over somebody. I cannot survive without my planner that consists of a thousand and one to-dos and the first window I open when i'm connected to the internet would be my university email to check if there's any work been sent in. Everything has to be well-planned, carried out and worked out. Holidays like these just make me feel rusty and unfruitful.

I am so pathetic to some of you I know. I tried picking up a book to read, got my hair done and eyebrows threaded yesterday, but I am not accustomed to life like that at all as much as I want it to be that way. And of course, someone special to share my life with too and I am not referring to just friends. (wow I can't believe I just said that) But maybe, JUST maybe, this is a whole new different chapter of my supposed life that I need to live up to, that God has written out for me. I will continue rewarding and unwinding myself with treats like good meals, pedicures and trips in between. Yup. That will be life for me for the next couple of years (and more..)

But right now, I really wanna enjoy this short holiday before I have any at all anymore. I hope the feeling kicks in, soon enough for me to realise.

..life of a chemical engineering student for you =)

21 plans

2009-12-21T17:23:00.004+08:00

Lately i've been having people ask me what i wanna do / have planned for my 21st birthday.

Well.. it didn't really occur to me that i'll be 21 in 2 months. Now that i'm thinking of it.. OMG :S i'm gonne be 21

I used to like surprises, but they never happened and i got disappointments instead (y'know when i used to have a bf and all) but right now, i really don't want any surprises.

So what do i have planned on 25th Feb 2010? heehee..

Like Pui Mun having a white christmas in LA by herself, imma go on a road trip on my own to somewhere so random no one can find me, not even my closest friends and family. Bahahaha.. SET, and no one is gonne spoil my plan for me.

STRESS

2009-12-19T12:14:00.004+08:00

I have 2 deadlines to meet on Monday before i can go christmas shopping.

I plan to get my hair cut, eyebrows threaded, mani + pedicure =)

Ooo i can't wait to get out of my zombie life where there is no day & night!!!

MIA till Monday

Last shot before i leave...

I think i have a new fetish for fake lashes now <3 *hint hint x'mas gift* :P

Ni Hao!

2009-12-09T20:39:00.010+08:00

So this is my 5th day in big motherland China! Omg i can't believe i've been here for 5 days already.. can i not go home..

Other than the fact that i ate something wrong on the first day i arrived, and got 3 needles pierced through my flesh in one day on my 3rd day here.. CHINA IS SO AWESOME POSSUMMM =)) yes i may have been crying & whining like a baby at the beginning but i'm great now, must be that stupid lab report giving me unnecessary pressure, tsk tsk! :P

The food is horrible in general, to be honest. Everything is a lot saltier, oilier and bigger in portion compared to the chinese food back at home. Other than that, things here are relatively cheap.. so cheap you can blindfold yourself and buy everything you pick up haha.

So as all of you already know, my sister and i have been sponsored to come here for 12 days to attend a winter camp where we're supposed to learn the chinese culture, history and all that.. which we have! And it's been soo funnn.. here's a glimpse of the things we have been doing and learning for the past 5 days;

roamed the streets of Guangzhou

National Art

Wu Shu

Calligraphy

more National Art i luvvv

Papercutting

and of course.. made a tonne of new friends! from young to old. We'll be flying off soon in 2 days time to Quanzhou and then to Fuzhou the day after. And then.. back home i come! Oh i miss roti canai and my friends =)

But right now, my heart is feeling so heavy and unsettled because i have 3 deadlines to meet and a test to study for while i'm here =((( God please save me for i am no Superwoman, but i need Your super powers to get me through this time.
Amen.

green tea cincau makes me happy :)

2009-12-01T23:51:00.004+08:00

I am having second thoughts about going to China, the workload is killing me slowly..

What should i doooo!?!

I'm flying off this Saturday morning for 11 days, everything's planned out and paid for already :(((

Life is so hard.. especially when it comes to making decisions that might affect your entire lifetime.

Only a MD - malibu dream with lots of cream can make me happy right now. But poor town Semenyay only has a Tesco and i can only make myself a nice cup of green tea cincau.

apple crumble with creammm yum!

i miss dessert sessions with daddy and smelly :( only they understand the importance of sugar and whipped cream

I hate to say this, but.. OH SHITTTTTTTTTT!!!

God please save me out of this wreck.

bestie boo!

2009-11-24T17:47:00.002+08:00

i know you're going through a heap of pressure right now.
i hope this picture makes you smile =)
'cos it never fails to make me smile.

<3 you loads
hang in there and everything'll be alright.

SEPIA i luv

2009-11-21T01:06:00.004+08:00

they may appear to be traditional, but i believe sepia shots capture Moments

i am dead

2009-11-20T16:45:00.003+08:00

Just opened my uni inbox to see another assignment been sent in!

due 4th December (when i'll be in china) - D.I.E
Fourier series and ODEs - DIEEE

So i have an EIA presentation and biotech test on 30th November,

laboratory report due 2nd December,

laboratory on 2nd December, report due 9th December,

math assignment due 4th December,

simulink test on 9th December,

EIA plant design project due right after i land.

And i'll be in china from 3rd - 15th December. HOWWW i am going to die die dieee..

need to drown myself with more starbucks now.

Everyday

2009-11-17T18:05:00.003+08:00

I need you like water
like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy
from heaven's gate
There's a freedom in your arms
that carries me through
I need you.

single but Not available

2009-11-17T17:36:00.003+08:00

So what am i feeling?

Honestly, idk. However, it sure feels great not having to answer to anybody whenever i wanna do something or try something new now.

My circle of friends have amazingly expanded and i'm getting to know a lot more people a lot more better than before.

I guess i do miss having someone around Sometimes. But it's ok, and i am ok. I rather not right now, at least not until i am ready to share my life with someone else.

But friends are greattt..

had my 6th cup of Starbucks with mark yday, and more to come!

Sometimes people need to step out of their comfortable lives and turn around to get a better view of what they want. As for me, i've definitely learned things the hard way, and thank God that i did.

Yes i may have gone through a heap of unnecessary nonsense but i'm definitely stronger than before now. Crash and burn, i am ok. And i'd very much appreciate people and those who call themselves friends to stop being so judgemental if you only see life from one view point.

Friends come and go, true friends do not come and go.

guess what?

2009-11-15T23:14:00.004+08:00

Had Starbucks twice yesterday.

Had Starbucks for tea today.. again.
ty melly and eddy for coming with me!

As for supper..

again..

And.. guess what!?

All 11 stamps, at last.
I got the planner too! =))

Am luvvvin' it.

Thank you everybody for all your kindest contributions and support! :~)

i'm still very happy to have Starbucks with YOU. imma collect more stamps for One more planner, hehe.

starbucks saturday!

2009-11-14T17:53:00.005+08:00

I got up this morning feeling very excited. Somehow my mind knew that today was gonne be an eventful day.

Met up with Sarah for breakfast at Subway this morning. Then we proceeded to Starbucks for

~~stamp collection~~ coffee & cake and had a good long chat. Too bad Sarah had to rush off to buy her prom dress. Sarah you owe me another breakfast session!

So i decided to continue resting my rump on the comfy cushion while finishing off my yummy mocha praline and doing some math.. after which.. Melly decided to join in my "study session" and somehow, i don't know how, we ended up on a shopping spree! Wahahaha.. i'm such a bad influence.

Bargained and bargained.. we got a good deal off 2 pairs of tights, a headband, a dress and a pair of stunning heels for Melly. I feel accomplished :)

After a good hour of shopping, we finally made our way back to Starbucks for coffee (again) and to study for real! =P atleast mel did. I played with the G9!

Thank god the battery ran out, if not i wouldn't have studied at all.. hehe.. lemme show you Some of my random shots,

i love shots in sepia! =))

Zzz..

2009-11-14T00:51:00.007+08:00

Finally a week with no deadlines, cancelled laboratory, coursework and test free!

Friday classes no longer exist so i spent the day sleeping in my cozy room today.. ahh like this..

I'll be flying off to China in another 3 weeks. I foresee the amount of work that's gonne pile up then. Lab reports, presentation, coursework and test.. Unfortunately i will hafta bring along my laptop and work with me to china, but i'll most probably end up like this..

Those of you who manage to study and meet all your deadlines in time, i *kao tao* to you! I have a Major issue juggling between work and study now.. Hopefully i'll be able to get something done this weekend :)

I have a G9 now! Thank you daddy! <3 i shall attempt to pick up some photographing skills and show 'em off when the pictures qualify, teehee. Till then!

Back to ZzzZzz..

$ Ka-chingg! $

2009-11-09T14:24:00.005+08:00

The stars are aligned and i'm another step closer to my Dream :)

Ty Jesus it's time to kick some ass for a First.

I've been listening to this song for a while now, let me share it here with you =)

Cannot touch
Cannot hold
Cannot be together

Cannot love
Cannot kiss
Cannot have each other

Must be strong,
And we must let go
Cannot say
What our hearts must know

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms

How does one waltz away
From all the memories
How do I not miss you
When you are gone

Cannot dream
Cannot share
Sweet and tender moments

Cannot feel
How we feel
Must pretend it's over

Must be brave,
And we must go on
Must not say,
What we've known all along

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms

How does one waltz away
From all the memories
How do I not miss you
When you are gone

How can I not love you..
When you are you gone...

stress management

2009-11-01T14:58:00.004+08:00

And this is how i deal with stress..

and..

now my messy hair will no longer give me a headache :)

i need sleeppp..

2009-10-31T14:51:00.004+08:00

Was working late last night and only managed to doze off at about 4.30am. In the midst of my so called sleep, my mind was still wandering & worrying about my essay and the other deadline and test this week.. gahh, insomniaaa. I'm feeling terribly restless now and my body's purely running on adrenaline. Nevertheless, I am happy =)

With the constant getting up, dozing off again, getting up again this morning, i finally managed to make myself feel sleepy at almost 10am. Which was when, a phone ringing tone buzzed out of my laptop. I groggily dragged myself out of my dad's enormous comfortable bed and landed my chin on the side of my laptop next to the bed.. to see a familiar face on the screen!

Sarah just got back to her room from a Halloween party. It was 2am in uk omg, but she looked so amazingly cute in her angel outfit dang should have snapped a shot of her. I miss you loads too rah! =( really wish i was there with you.. imperial, iamworkingmyassoffnowtogettoyou.

Talked for about 20 minutes, and i dived my face back into the sea of blankets. 10 minutes after when i was This close to dreamland, my cousin came knocking on the door to tell me to get ready for breakfast. Ahhhh..!

Washed up, changed.. we headed to citrus park for breakfast. The best part.. shoppinggg after that! =) seriously shopping is the best therapy.

takealookatmybagcollection

i'm just really bored now, but gotta get back to work soon, AGAIN omgg.. This is It tonight and maybe a Halloween partyy! ;) okineedtosleepbyebye.

time to relax =) Not!

2009-10-30T22:29:00.013+08:00

Daddy bought me a book =) vintage classic edition of the tt's wife. I'm VERY tempted to tear open the wrapper Right Now and start reading. Gahh.. but i really shouldn't or else i won't be able to put it down once i start. Work first.. eileen work.. focusss!

thank you daddy! =) i love you.

And thank you so much for helping me search high and low for the EIA guidelines i need for my forestry essay a dang thick stack of guidelines i'll hafta read up on, no sleep for me tonight. Hope you've safely landed in bintulu =) can't wait for you to be home.

dieee..

Had a splendid dinner at Waterlily with godma and godpa tonight. I am happy and contented.

their signature fruit ice blended. this is honeydew and mint, the best i've ever tasted!

my lemongrass grilled lamb

Godma ordered a mojito which was served with a longg cucumber and chilli inside. It was extremely hilarious watching her gulp it all down, ahahahah..

godpa's salmon steak!

yummy fat riceee

Daddy's away so i'll be camping in his freezing cold room and using it as a library tonight. Gonne start burning my midnight oil, bleagghhh..

On a happier note, regardless of the lot of stress and deadlines.. i scored an almost perfect score for my first test, hehe.. thank You Jesus for giving me a great start to this semester.. and thank you for blessing me with the best lab partner/friend ever - Jacqueline she scored an almost perfect score too! who is always so patient with me & putting up with my nonsensical questions. i couldn't ask for more =)

toodles!

Ahah finally..

2009-10-29T20:52:00.006+08:00

Handed in my 30 pages long laboratory report on enzymatic reaction today. My head has been cracking over it for the past one week and i only got 2 hours of sleep last night trying to work out some last minute calculations. The next deadline would be next thursday for math followed by a 40% essay on Forestry next friday.. dieee.. then a presentation and plant design project which i'm supposed to hand in the week i'll be away in China.. die die dieee.. but i'm in such a good mood today i can't be bothered about ANYTHING right now! =))))))

1) No more sleepless nights having to worry about my lab report.
2) Salsa is ssoo AWESOMEEE! can't wait for my next class..
3) Managed to have 3 good runs this week, 6km each time..
4) Gonne watch This Is It on Saturday!

AHHH.. i'm the most contented person in the world right now.

Anyways i cooked Alfredo for lunch today with a bloody bull's eye. It was really delicious so i'm gonne share my recipe here..

Fusilli Alfredo

In a pan, heat up about 200ml (per serving) of low fat milk together with a reasonable amount of butter. Leave to simmer.
Stir in the amount of pasta you want - macaroni / penne / conchiglie / farfalle although i personally recommend fusilli or rotini (twists) with Alfredo, which is also relatively easy to cook.
Add in a generous amount of cheese powder and seasoning (pepper, salt.. )
Stir consistently for about 8-10 minutes then serve.

Toppings like diced tomatoes or bacon can be added in while cooking if it's too plain. Garnish with chopped parsley or oregano (should be yummy-er)

Signing off..

I am Happy, because..

2009-10-24T06:05:00.010+08:00

Had a great family dinner at Chef & Brew.

Kenneth took me here for dinner once and i fell in love with it. the cozy and relaxed atmosphere.. (i know i've been advertising a lot about food recently) but the food was yummy! An ideal place for discussions to take place because it's so quiet, or to just simply chill and hang out. So, i took my family here last night and they loved it too. Especially when daddy had to pay the bill.. in total was around Rm150 for 6 diners. Given the number of dishes we ordered (8 if i'm not mistaken), very reasonable i must say!

Clam chowder - not recommended.
Bubba gump still has the Best clam chowder i've ever tasted.

Hainanese chicken wings

Japanese salmon head

David's chicken chop

Daddy's bombay chicken - i likee this dish!

my long awaited and much craved for Lamb shank! =))

Lucas' mussels pasta

A lovely surprise from across the sea..

i absolutely lovee receiving postcards from friends who are far far away from home.

this one's from Jon all the way from bristol. =))

My to-do-list currently looks like this,

Things I'm Going to Do / already doing:

1. study my butt off everyday.
2. hike Mount kinabalu in March 2010
3. run at least 5km, 2-3 times a week.
4. save up for traveling next year.
5. travel China with my sister in December.

Things I Want to Do:

1. get First class =)
2. see fireflies in Kuala selangor before they extinct! (nope, I have never been there)
3. ~~hike Broga hill and Gasing hill.~~ and i did both in one week!
4. travel london & europe in June.

So much to do, so little time! Gahh.. i'm gonne be MIA for a while. I have a couple of deadlines i need to settle before i can freely switch on my computer and Not to work. Till then stay tuned! =)

birthdays

2009-10-20T01:51:00.007+08:00

I'm currently blogging from my dad's place. Yesterday and today were simultaneously 2 special days - sister Smelly and Aunt Jenny's birthday. So, we had a nice dinner at the Grand Dorsett! - by now you should already know that this is gonne be a food post. Dinner was spectacular. The ambiance was amazing with soft jazz playing at the back, table setting standards were met and the food was exquisite.

The first dish - fresh oysters, scampi and smoked salmon =))

in conjunction with Octoberfest - Terazza Bras' pastas

say cheeseee!

dessert's bar was heavenly. my sweet tooth is definitely gonne kill me one day.

chocolate covered apricots, panacota, cream caramel and lychee cheesecake, the list goes on..

the panacota was the best ever. it was so rich and creamy and tasted like whipped cream, so i became greedy and swept everything off the bar!

the siblings wanted a shot with the choco-fountain.

Lucas enjoying himself. Really glad cos' he's finally sitting down properly eating his food, thank gawdd..

i dipped my green tea ice cream with chocolate from the fountain and it freezed!

[camwhore time for the siblings]

[bad pic]

Birthday girl!

Awaiting for many more great ones to come..

something spontaneous

2009-10-16T00:13:00.007+08:00

My classes ended at 3pm today, after which I headed home with my course mates (and housemates) Amelia & Michelle.. after we got home, one of the guys in our house suggested that we go on a hike up Broga hill. It wasn't exactly last minute, but it was very spontaneous and we were all definitely not prepared for it.

Nevertheless, we all got up to the peak in one piece after a good half an hour hike. Here are some shots i took with my phone at the top of the hill. The view was breathtaking and i absolutely loveeddd everything about it - great place, great weather & great company.

These are all scenery shots, human shots are being uploaded on FB now..

the first picture to be seen upon reaching the first peak

at the sides

i love golden hay fields.. they're so country-side like what we see in movies

After coming down, we immediately headed to town for coconut juice and cendol. Mmm.. decided to cook some spaghetti for dinner after reaching home. Found out that I only had some can food left, so i used up whatever i had to make my perfect dinner =) it turned out like this..

fried spaghetti with Luncheon meat, egg & Bbq sauce - the best invention ever.

I took a look at some brochures for my trip to China coming december and came across this.. i really hope i'll get to see this while i'm there! hehe..

Some other random photos that i had to get out of my phone..

key chain sean & michelle got for me from Bali

mashed potato loaded with bacon that i cooked for our house warming

my boys at home =) they're crazy but i love them like my own sons

That's all for now.. stay tuned for more!

sore feet but i'm great

2009-10-07T21:17:00.010+08:00

Just got back to my room. My toes are sore from walking around Gardens and Mid-Valley all day - what a wonderful way of celebrating one's birthday! =)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACQUELINEEE! - my darling lab partner =))
if she actually reads this..

Here are some pictures i'd like to share because I don't wanna be keeping them in my phone for life..

I'm so proud of my boys at home. Thanks to them, my beautiful kitchen is finally alive!

Sean, Han hung and Choo chii (cuci), hehe.. they cuci-ed the entire kitchen - from the fridge to the counter to the sinks and floor.

Han hung did a great job marinating meat for our house warming BBQ bash. We're all gonne be eating diarrhea-like food tomorrow night..

y'know what i mean now =)

Girls day out today! Lab partners Jacqueline, Priscilla, bestie Michelle and myself. Was expecting to spend quite a sum - (like in chic flicks where a bunch of girls will hang out and shop till they drop) but thankfully I didn't! Hehe.. and I promise that wherever we went, people were annoyed by our loudd non-stop bullet train girl talks. Ahahaha..

We had Japanese for lunch. Then we watched The Ugly Truth - i laughed a lot more this time. Went to heaven! I mean, Charles & Keith, hehe. Didn't buy anything -YET- don't worry. Anddd...after much long of craving, I finally got my

MALIBU DREAM =)

i like this gay drink because it reminds me of someone far far away from home.. please come back soonn =(

I did buy something at the end of the day. My long-awaited lipstick! I absolutely loveee the colour and the texture of it. It's really nice and I got it for 20 bucks cheaper than the normal price. How lucky! Hehe.

Maybelline Water LipShine Pure - highly recommend it! =) It's going for RM19.80 now at Watsons for this entire month I think.

Lastly,

I received the confirmation this morning that i'll be flying to China in December. Being sponsored by the chinese government to be there for 12 days! Woohoo, a chinese girl in a chinese world. Am excited about itt.. Gotta brush up my chinese first before I get killed. Hehe. So that's another thing to be added on my Going to Do List =)

am I falling apart?

2009-10-06T07:48:00.006+08:00

I hope nottt...

I'm gonne be ok. Just gotta work on my priorities for now.

breathe.. breathe..

I made a list of things i'm doing / going to do and another list for the things I wanna do in this short period of one year.

Things I'm Going to Do / already doing:

1. Study my butt off everyday.
2. Hike Mount Kinabalu (March 2010)
3. Run at least 5km, 2-3 times a week.
4. Save up for traveling next year.

Things I Want to Do:

1. Get First Class =)
2. See fireflies in Kuala Selangor before they extinct! (nope, I have never been there)
3. Hike Broga Hill & Gasing Hill.
4. Travel London & UK in June.

Will I be able to live my dream? I reallyyy hope so. The loneliness isn't going to kill me. I just gotta put myself together and get used to it. What an interesting year it's gonne be =)

Oh, I found pictures of my schooling days in London when I was little.. they're a bit blur 'cos I took a picture of the pictures.

Wouldn't be difficult to spot me, I was the only chinese. and I purposely flashed the light on that black girl right there, she hates Asians & got me punished on my first day of school.

I chipped a tooth here which you can't see, hehe.. =)

my sister just has to be a part of everything I do